I've been having a shitty week and I'm not entirely sure why. I've just been so fucking down and on edge and grumpy and down on myself. I hate where I am in my life. It's not fucking fair. Why can't I just be like everyone else. Shit. WHY? I am so afraid of what is "out there" while everyone else (especially people my age) seem to enjoy "out there" so goddamn much. What the hell is wrong with me. I'm fucked. I swear I am. I cut myself and have tried to commit suicide. That 'aint normal. I can't do anything right. All I do is shit myself through each day and sigh with relief when it's over. I'm good for fucking nothing. I have no talent, no worth, nothing to give back to the world. I'm a parasite; leaching off of my parents. But ya know what the funniest part is? I can't seem to bring myself to do anything about it. God, I am so ashamed to say that. But it's perfectly true. I'm just not good enough. I suck at everything. I'm so shit scared of everything. People, school, choices, fuck I'm scared of life itself. I feel like I have this huge weight on my shoulders and the thought of that weight scares me so much all I can do is hide. I'm pathetic. What the fuck am I good for huh? Nothing. FUCKING NOTHING.

People try to help me, but they just don't get it. How can they. They've never been here. They don't know how I really think and feel and I can't tell them. I just wish I didn't have to do this anymore. I wish I could get out of here. Please god help me get away. I can't stand to live like this forever. I just want to die. But I can't. I can't. It would kill my mom if I did. I can't do that to her. I just can't.